Monday, March 2, 2020

The First Day: 'My Wretched Life'


Dear Parish Faithful,

"The tendency to over-emphasize external rules about fasting in a legalistic way, and the opposite tendency to scorn these rules as outdated and unnecessary, are both alike to be deplored as a betrayal of true Orthodoxy. In both cases the proper balance between the outward and the inward has been impaired."
- "The Meaning of the Great Fast" by Archbishop Kallistos Ware
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This evening, we will begin the four-part Canon of Repentance by St. Andrew of Crete. The very first troparion (stanza) of those incredibly rich work begins as follows:

How shall I begin to mourn the deeds of my wretched life?


Is this just a bit "too much" when I begin to examine my own life? Is it really "wretched?" If this question comes to mind in a moment of sober reflection outside of the actual service of the Canon, then perhaps this passage for consideration from Frederica Mathews-Green may shed some light on the use of such language by St. Andrew:

"If you are unused to devotional writings of the first millennium, this initial plunge may seem bewildering. In contrast to today's emphasis on reassurance, this prayer is raw and challenging. Do you judge it too alien, or inapplicable to your situation? Consider letting it judge you, in a sense, and to allow yourself to be brought into line with an earlier attitude toward the urgency of sin. For the ancient Christians, repentance was a gift which must be sought and prayed for; it doesn't come naturally, because we are so blind to our true selves. Yet that knowledge is the only way to liberation and joy. Are you willing to ask God to help you acquire true repentance?"

- From First Fruits of Prayer - A Forty Day Journey Through the Canon of St. Andrew, p. 4.


When I hear these words of St. Andrew, what also comes to mind is the famous Protestant hymn "Amazing Grace," and the verse in that hymn in which the author/singer confesses: "wretch that I am." Yet, before we detect too much similarity of thought here, I would claim that the basic presuppositions between the Orthodox and Protestant background to this honest confession are quite different; thus rendering the two confessions rather distinct and not open to an easy assimilation of one tradition with another. In some forms of Protestant theology/anthropology a person is born "a wretched sinner." This is the supposed effect of "original sin." Thus, from conception itself, a person is guilty before God and our very human nature is corrupt and deserving of punishment by the wrath of God. This is openly expressed in Calvinism, but also in other forms of Protestantism.

Yet, not so in Orthodoxy. For the Orthodox, we are not guilty sinners from our very conception or birth. Human nature, though marred by sin and death-bound as it is, remains good as coming from God. No one is born a guilty sinner. (And certainly no one is "predestined" to eternal punishment!) We are born into a sinful, broken and, again, death-bound world. We will eventually sin (all sin and fall short of the glory of God as the Apostle Paul teaches), and in the process disfigure our good human nature, and become a "wretch" in that very process. And it can get pretty ugly if we take a good look at the world around us.

But sin is not natural, and there is no "sin of nature." Only human persons sin, and we are then guilty of our personal sin(s). Sin, in our Orthodox understanding, is a "sickness" from which we need to be healed; not a legalistic situation of standing guilty before God the Judge deserving of punishment.

That is why that very opening troparion with which I began this meditation ends with the plea: "In Your compassion, O Christ, forgive my sins." We know that this is what God desires for us, for God desires all human beings to be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth" (I Tim. 2:4).

When thinking of what we are meant to be, and what we can become by the grace of God, it is indeed liberating to confess that my deeds (as well as my words and thoughts) have led to a "wretched life" if and when I fail in that vocation. Without at all having to worry if I am one of the predestined "elect," I am confident in the merciful healing power of Christ.

So, I would emphasize that these basic presuppositions behind these seemingly similar confessions of sinfulness by both the Orthodox and the Protestants, render the meaning of each quite distinct from each other.