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COFFEE WITH SISTER VASSA: ON PRAYING FROM THE HEART
I'm sharing today an email I got from a young woman-catechumen who is currently doing my Orthodoxy 101 course, in case anyone is interested:
Hi Sister Vassa,
All has been going well with the daily prayers and the readings. I've actually really been enjoying the rhythm it gives to the day.
I would love to hear any advice you might have on how to stay present and tap into a sense of depth while saying the prayers and not just go through the motions of recitation. I notice myself slipping into autopilot while praying, especially as I memorize the daily prayers (Our Father, Oh Heavenly King, etc..)...
N.
Dear N,
Thank you for your message. The "slipping into autopilot" that you write about, when reciting or memorizing certain ready-made prayers, is something that happens to all of us, time and again. It's part of the learning process, of learning to work on our relationship with God. The reasons we learn ready-made prayers, which are more difficult to pray from the heart (because these are not our own words), are:
1. These prayers help us to understand better, how and who God is, - for example, He is our common "Father" in the best sense of that concept; and He is the life-giving Spirit and King (as in the prayer, O Heavenly King) that is our primary and life-inspiring authority, beyond and above any political "king" or leader. And these prayers help us better understand how we approach Him, and what types of things we thank Him for, ask Him for, and cherish His presence in our lives for.
2. Ready-made prayers enable us to pray together with other people in our church-tradition, on those occasions when we pray together in church, before and after meals, etc. When we're not with other people and we pray these prayers, we are also, in a sense, praying together with other Christians who are also praying these prayers on their own, in different parts of the world. This is why most of these prayers are formulated in the first person plural, ("we," "our"), so we become aware of the fact that we are not alone, but part of a bigger whole, of a humanity that recognizes we are all children of "our" Father.
SOME TIPS, for learning to pray from the heart:
1. CONTEMPLATION: When we take pause and contemplate a bit, about the meaning of these ready-made prayers, it helps us to make them "our own" words.
2. BODILY POSITION & RITUALIZING: Another thing that helps, in the whole business of making these prayers "our own," and to pray them truly "by heart" (or from the heart), is to get creative with our prayer-learning-process. We can try changing our bodily position when we say them. For example, you can try kneeling (either at the side of your bed, like you see sometimes in movies where a child or someone prays before bedtime), and imagine you are in the presence of God, who is always close; or you can pray before an icon of Jesus Christ, and you can "ritualize" your prayer in other ways sometimes, by lighting a little candle before an icon. Or you can stand and raise your arms with your palms uplifted, as you say the Our Father, if that works for you. You also might set up a special place in your home for prayer, like a little corner with icons or a candle or where on occasion you put a vase of flowers and keep a religious book you are reading, or something like that. Make it nice and I would even say, playful. We learn best through playing. And NOTE: All these external bodily gestures are done to help our internal attention to focus on the presence of God; they are not done to demean us, nor are they done because God "needs" our prayers or our subservience to Him. What He wants is for us to participate in His divine energies, called "grace," so that we don't lead an existence that is limited only to the oft-divisive merely-human energies in our world.
3. PATIENCE: Finally, don't get discouraged and have patience with yourself, in this learning process. It's the most worthwhile thing we can learn, in the long run, to have and maintain faith in the presence of a loving God in our lives. We will lose our focus, again and again, but we learn more about ourselves and about God, through our mistakes and even our "sins," like self-centered fears, ingratitude, resentments, or whatever, each time we let God help us overcome these ugliness-es in our hearts. He wants us to be free of such things that block our growth and our effectiveness in leading a good life, but it's by walking through these things and overcoming them that we grow stronger and more whole, as participants in the flow of creative, divine energies that are available to us, in communion with God.
Sorry this was long, N. I look forward to seeing you next week.
Love from Rome,
SV
